


Questions Lead to More

by Alwaysdreaming95



Series: True to One's Self [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Grace, Castiel is a Winchester (Supernatural), Castiel's True Form (Supernatural), Curious Jack Kline, Family Feels, Jack Feels, Jack Kline is a Winchester, M/M, Oblivious Castiel (Supernatural), Questions, True Form, Trying as few spoilers as possible here, cas feels, wing fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysdreaming95/pseuds/Alwaysdreaming95
Summary: It all starts with Jack questions Castiel about his true form. The day is filled with questions and maybe a little bit of answers. All of which Cas is not ready to face.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: True to One's Self [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581967
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Preview

**Author's Note:**

> I based this off a lil comic I saw on Tumblr by lizleeships. I don't see a whole lot of Cas in his true form talk or (ones where it's a beauty and beast kind of thing) a lot mostly about his wings so I kinda came up with this.

“Just be true to who you are.”

“How can I be true to who I am…. If you are not? Holding yourself the way you are is not good for your true form, Cas,” Jack chides me 

I shrug my shoulders, “It’s not that difficult. When I was resurrected in this form being in this body… form… isn’t that difficult anymore.”

“You say that, but I can see your true form, Castiel. It is not happy. It’s screaming out…. For what I’m not sure,” Jack ends it at that as he seems to star at my true form. 

It’s odd to think of since how long I’ve been with Sam and Dean I’ve always thought that the body of Jimmy… my body… is my true form. Even though I had faced reality that it isn’t when I was human and when my grace is low. Though I’m thankful for those moments for Dean’s soul is one of the brightest and most beautiful I’ve ever seen it doesn’t mean that seeing his physical body is so bad. Sure I’ve seen many humans over my time human, more so the men when I lived out of the gym. Yet, Dean’s looks call out the most pleasing. 

Jack seems to stop staring and has his head in a book on angels. I walk over to him, “What’s with the questions on my true form?”

“I can tell it’s unhappy…. Also, I’m wondering if being part human means that I do not have a form like that since I can’t really leave this body.”

I nod my head as I sit with him at the table, “That’s how to say. I can see a glimmer here and there. I know. If it will truly form time will only time. I view my body that I have now as my true form that’s why it shocked me when you mentioned my form as an angel.”

“That’s what you are though, Castiel. You are an angel who was born as such and was gifted a human body when recreated. It does not mean that your true form had melded with the human one.”

“I see… does that affect either forms at all?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Just be true to who you are.”

“How can I be true to who I am…. If you are not? Holding yourself the way you are is not good for your true form, Cas,” Jack chides me 

I shrug my shoulders, “It’s not that difficult. When I was resurrected in this form being in this body… form… isn’t that difficult anymore.”

“You say that, but I can see your true form, Castiel. It is not happy. It’s screaming out…. For what I’m not sure,” Jack ends it at that as he seems to star at my true form. 

It’s odd to think of since how long I’ve been with Sam and Dean I’ve always thought that the body of Jimmy… my body… is my true form. Even though I had faced reality that it isn’t when I was human and when my grace is low. Though I’m thankful for those moments for Dean’s soul is one of the brightest and most beautiful I’ve ever seen it doesn’t mean that seeing his physical body is so bad. Sure I’ve seen many humans over my time human, more so the men when I lived out of the gym. Yet, Dean’s looks call out the most pleasing. 

Jack seems to stop staring and has his head in a book on angels. I walk over to him, “What’s with the questions on my true form?”

“I can tell it’s unhappy…. Also, I’m wondering if being part human means that I do not have a form like that since I can’t leave this body.”

I nod my head as I sit with him at the table, “That’s how to say. I can see a glimmer here and there. I know. If it will truly form time will only time. I view my body that I have now as my true form that’s why it shocked me when you mentioned my form as an angel.”

“That’s what you are though, Castiel. You are an angel who was born as such and was gifted a human body when recreated. It does not mean that your true form had melded with the human one.”

“I see… does that affect either forms at all?”

I chuckle as I pull a more human action as I shrug, “I do not know. It might be more so why angels have vessels and a lot of time it’s tied to a bloodline and the higher up you are the more you need a true vessel compared to someone of a specific bloodline. Now with our bodies being our own and being connected to them, it’s a lot harder to tell what exactly what will happen to them. Jimmy no longer resides within this body and your body is your own. So in a way, our true forms are more so meant for only angels, gods, and some demons to see.”

“Demons can tell that you are an angel.”

“That may be true, but some are kinda dumb and somewhat human so they don’t see true forms as well.”

“As an angel do we see other’s true nature?”

I shake my head, “No, though I’m sure Dean and Sam wished it would be that way. We can see souls, but every soul no matter human or creature soul is truly alike. There’s nothing that can truly give them away until they release a part of what they are. Though witches have something tied to their soul even when they are a natural born and not a crossroads witch. Though with that when you are a witch by a deal with a demon there’s a demonic look to their soul even if they are just wrongly lead to their deal.”

“Do souls destined for hell look differently than not?”

I feel my head tilt as I look at the young man realizing that he may be part angel, though the last one was created over millennia ago, he is still so young. 

“Not really. Take Sam and Dean before we had met they had soul their souls to save each other a few times. Yet their souls don’t show any hint of their time in hell do they.”

Jack shakes his head, “Not really though Sam’s seems a bit more…” I watch the young man tilt his head as he seems to be thinking, “more scarred than Deans?”

“That is something that maybe Dean can explain how his time was different. To put simply he had spent some time in a… locked area stuck with your father and uncle Michael for a long period of time.” 

I watch Jack’s face drop as he seems to forget his book and leaves the library to more than likely give Sam an unexpected hug. He seems to be doing that more often. Maybe it’s the time he has spent with the few other humans outside of the bunker we all know. Though I think Jack has kept in contact with the boy he had  _ befriended _ the day he was born. 

Still, at his young age, he is still perspective of some things that he hoped to hide from him. Though I’m used to hiding how I truly feel sometimes in my true form as Gabriel had told me along with Balthazar had my true form still gives off a hint on how I am truly feeling. 

I hear the seat by me scrap across the floor as Dean pulls it out. I can hear the soft voice of his soul though I told Sam and Dean I would not listen or peak without explicit permission. 

“What was Jack asking you about?”

“Just angel stuff,” like how my true form doesn’t seem happy. 

“Cas, is there something that you’d hiding?” Dean asks. I look over to see hints of his freckles and green eyes. Maybe cause I’m low on grace or more used to a human body after 10 years. 

“It’s nothing important, Dean.”

I watch a look I can't pinpoint cross his face as he stands up quickly knocking his chair back a bit, “Everything that deals with you is important, Cas. The sooner you get that picture the quicker you understand a few more things about our relationship.”

I watch Dean walk off a bit confused. 

What did Dean mean by our relationship? We’re family, self-made, brothers in arms. All he sees me is another brother. 

“Castiel, are you okay?” I hear Jack ask behind me a couple hours later my mind still trying to figure out what Dean had meant. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Cause your heads and wings are hanging low like you’re sad or hurt,” he answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

I always forget that he can see my true form and that he’s more than just a child. I sigh as I rub my hand over my face. 

“Jack please leave it alone. So my true form is hinting that I’m sad. I’m fine my mind is simply full of questions is all.” It’s not like I’m trying to snip at Jack…. 

I hear him whisper something and I can hear the sadness in the voice before he walks away. 

I walk by the kitchen to hear Dean talking, “You doing okay there, Bud?”

“I think I angered Castiel with my questions on his true form,” I hear Jack’s dejected voice say. My chest hurts thinking about how I seemed to have harmed the boy. 

“I’m sure that’s not it. What you commented on his wings or something?” I hear Dean trying to joke. He truly is not used to this whole role we’d all been thrown into. 

“I guess I had. I mentioned how his wings and heads seemed to be droopy as if he was upset about something.”

“Wait… Heads? Cas has more than one head.” Is Dean disgusted by this fact?

“Yes, He has 3. He has parts of a lion, gazelle, snake, eagle, and some kind of horse…. The lion being his main head it has 3 eyes one located in the middle of his forehead. Is that weird?”

I hear rustling and I’m confused if Dean is nodding or shaking his head before he shouts, “No, not at all. I’ve always been kinda curious as to what his form looks like. What do his wings looked like, I’ve always wondered only seeing shadows of them. I’ve heard angels and that make comments, but I truly never understood them.”

“His wings are rather large and dark. I like them.”

I hear dean chuckle, “That’s good to hear. I’ve always been worried about how the shadows are changing if Cas is in pain or anything?”

“I do not believe he’s in pain Dean at most at time may be uncomfortable. I do not think that’s why Castiel is sad.”

I hear small sound as Dean moves and I take a peek into the room to see Dean hugging Jack. I feel a small piece of warmth and something else that I won’t think about. 

It’s again a couple of hours later when I hear a knock on my door. I open it to find Dean looking like he’s ready to bolt any second. 

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas… buddy… I was wondering if you re up to talk… if not then that’s fine.” I watch Dean rub his hand against the back of his neck. 

I feel a small smile grace my lips as I nod my head moving to the side to let Dean inside my room. He slowly steps in and takes in my room. It’s not much, but it’s enough. Though thinking of Dean’s room it’s simply like it’s not a permanent place to stay. That I expect myself leaving the bunker… for what exactly?

“What is it that you wish to talk about Dean?” I know my head is tilting a bit more to the side as I ask my question. 

“It's not serious it’s just Jack said that your true form looked unhappy... sad and I was just wondering if you are unhappy or in any kind of pain?”

“Why would I be either, Dean?”

Watching the emotions cross Dean’s face as he’s trying to find an answer and seems to be stuck on what to say... Much less if he can get himself to voice it. 

“I thought there were no chick flick moments?” I can’t help but to voice. 

He seems to get even more flustered, “It’s not that, Cas. You know that went out the window years ago. Gotta live life however you can.” 

He sees to be nervous about something. 

“Is something bothering you, Dean?”

“No,” he quickly answers before he says, “Maybe…. It’s just I wish I could see your true form….” 

As he is stuck on his words I ask, “Why do you want that?”

“It’s nothing too invasive it’s just when Jack mentioned that it made me think that maybe it’d be easier to read you if I saw your true form. He said that your wings speak louder than the faces do. Which by the way sounds awesome…”

I feel a smile tug on my lips as I look at the man, “Why do you want to read me more, Dean?”

Dean seems to groan as he roughly rubs his hand across his face, “It’s just I care about ya, Cas. You know that right?” he only waits for fo me to nod before he continues, “It’s just sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall even after knowing you for 10 years. When Jack mentioned your faces and even made a comment that your wings looked like they were dimming it made me worry. You are family, man. Don’t you get that family is supposed to look after each other? In whatever way they can no matter what.”

Huh…. what a dean, but not a dean thing for him to say. 

Slowly I nod my head, “I understand that Dean. I’m sorry that’s what you think… Truthfully, I feel a bit uncomfortable in my own skin as of late. It was helpful to talk to Jack, but at the same time, I’m at a loss since this is and isn’t my body. I haven’t tried to leave it since Jimmy had died leaving it to me. When Jack mentioned my true form it kind of hit me that I’ve been living under this face and body for 10 years that I had stopped caring for my true form. My wings look dimmer to Jack cause they need grooming since I wish to try to limit the amount of grace I use.”

“Is there a way I can help you, buddy?”

I feel a scowl cross my face and my wings point in irritation of that nickname, “I wish you would stop calling me that, Dean.”

“Calling you what? Buddy?” he asks purely confused. 

My wings vibrate even more. Trying to reconnect with my true form was not a good idea if I had known this talk was going to take place. I feel my form starts to vibrate as well. I can’t shake off the strength of my emotions right now. 

“Yes, I do not like it. I wish you’d just call me by my name.”

Dean looks confused, “I hardly ever call you Castiel.”

“No, but Cas is better than buddy. It makes me feel like everyone else. Like I’m not someone special to you,” I shout out before I can truly think of my words, but they are out in the air and in a way so our my feelings for Dean. 

I close my eyes and try to imagine myself anywhere but here, but the grip on my hand has me opening my eyes. 

Dean looks worried, “You’re not popping out of this conversation. I may have gotten this wrong, but Cas you know you are probably the most special person in my life… right? I mean you pretty are ahead of Sammy on that list for at least a couple years now if not since I had met you.”

I feel the vibrating calming down and my feather’s fluffing a little bit, “What do you mean, Dean?”

I lean more into his personal space not giving a damn about it tempted to look into his mind even though I’ve kept that that silent promise made years ago. 

“I mean….” he looks down before he mutters, “Don’t make me say it.”

“Dean, you’ll have to if I am to understand what you are saying.”

‘Fine! What iI mean is I FUCKING LOVE YOU! THERE I SAID IT. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I'VE FINALLY TOLD YOU.” He yells on top of his lungs I wince a bit remembering hearing an angel’s true voice when I was human. 

Still, I can’t help the smile gracing my lips as I look at him with my head tilted, “You love me?” 

“Don’t make me say it again. Probably be saved for life-threatening altering moments, if ever spoken again.” He grumbles not looking me in the eyes. 

“I love you, Dean Winchester. Why else would my wings be horrid and I be in this vessel for so long?”

“IDK, Chuck screwed you over?” Dean tries to joke not wanting to look at me before he seems to catch what else I said... At least I believe that to be so with how a smile graces his lips. 

“Fuck, we’re a couple of idiot’s aren’t we,” he says as he pulls me in having our lips meeting in a sweet kiss. 

Dean and I haven’t tried to hide our change in relationship from Sam or Jack. Though we both agreed that at least around Jack that it’d be rated G for as long as possible. At least until Jack walks in on us one morning kissing in the kitchen. He simply asks, “Castiel why are you’re wings and feathers standing like that? Is it like some birds where you wish to mate…. Have you and Dean…”

“Oh God,” I hear Dean say as he’s covering his mouth surely he’s trying not to laugh at me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned fo rit to be like in the comic where Castiel is a bit out of his mind and in his true form when he faces Cas or even a part of his true form manifests and shows how he really feels... maybe that'll be the next edition to this story.

**Author's Note:**

> It's just a preview cause I was stupid and started filling everything out early.


End file.
